Saturday, September 17, 2011

Rango



Movie Premise:
The story follows the comical, transformative journey of Rango (Depp), a sheltered chameleon living as an ordinary family pet, while facing a major identity crisis. After all, how high can you aim when your whole purpose in life is to blend in? When Rango accidentally winds up in the gritty, gun-slinging town of Dirt -- a lawless outpost populated by the desert's most wily and whimsical creatures -- the less-than-courageous lizard suddenly finds he stands out. Welcomed as the last hope the town has been waiting for, new Sheriff Rango is forced to play his new role to the hilt...until, in a blaze of action-packed situations and encounters with outrageous characters, Rango starts to become the hero he once only pretended to be.

At one point in the movie, there is an angry mob outside of the sheriff's house/jailhouse/wherever sheriff's in the old west reside. I've always wanted to be a part of an angry mob. I imagine an angry mob in England would just turn out to be a crowd of people who refuse to use manners, like say please and thank you. But I want to be a part of an angry mob where people didn't know what they were angry about. "I just bought bananas fresh and green yesterday and now they are brown! I'm very angry!". And the like, they are like Christmas Carolers who show up to your door step to shout at you why they are angry. Instead of sleigh bells to help boost the christmas cheer, the angry mobbers have pitchforks, torches, and blind fury.

One of the main conflicts in Rango is the town Rango wanders into and becomes a part of is THERE IS NO WATER. Living in America and having more than I need, I cannot relate. We have so much in America, we refuse to bathe. It's not because we have no water that some of us don't bathe, it's because of sheer laziness. That is freedom right there. Not really, but that's what I tell myself. Whenever a character in a story is starving or dying of thirst, I take the liberty to get up and eat or drink something during. Kind of like those people who eat junk food while watching the Biggest Loser. My friend gave me an idea while I read this book(The Hunger Games) where the main character is dying of dehydration in a battle of survival and to the death with other contestants in the woods. The idea was to stop reading the book, get up, go to the faucet in the bathroom, turn it on, STARE AT THE WATER FOR 30 SECONDS, NOT drink it, turn it off, and go back to reading the book where the character is DYING because of lack of water. Just cause I can.

Animals can talk in this movie and have human characteristics. That is fine. But WHY are the owls who serve as a mariachi band and narrators MEXICAN! You couldn't find another other animal to be more of a random choice to characters a member of an ethnicity than owls? It would have been racist to choose a chihuahua to be the mexican characters in the movie but it's just plain bonkers to choose owls. A raven is the Indian/Native American(First Nations to you Canadians). Why we are at it, why not have a character that is from Asia be a bear! No....not a panda bear. Make it a koala bear. Yeah, in the desert. Building a railroad. Doesn't make sense does it? Good. Now you get my confusion about why the mexican characters are owls.

The film is a great western. We don't get too many westerns now a days. True Grit and Rango are the only westerns that have come to my attention in a while. The film has some pretty BA(when I say BA, I mean badass. Makes the censoring counterproductive don't you think) moments. Clint Eastwood makes an appearance. Not only is motherfucking Clint Eastwood in the movie, he can talk to animals. He had a conversation with Rango. Rango is a lizard. All the animals I have ever tried to talk to have never talked back. You start talking to the animals as a kid, you stop when you're an adult because they never talk back. Even crazy pet people who talk to their pets, there pets never talk back. NOT FOR CLINT EASTWOOD! When you're the Man With No Name, you can do anything.

When watching this movie, you feel like you're on acid in a desert and the whole desert came to life. I wouldn't recommend this movie to people on acid. Rango is too dangerous for drug users. But it is safe enough for children. IRONIC. AND it's rated PG!

An evil snake in this movie has a mustache. Mustaches can make anything cool. Look at Gene Shalit.

Pretty cool, right? The mustache is making me like the unlikable character of Jake the Snake.

All in all, this movie is pretty swag.

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