Sunday, September 18, 2011

Good Will Hunting



Brief summary: When professors discover that an aimless janitor is also a math genius, a therapist helps the young man confront the demons that are holding him back.

So I watched this movie cause I get hounded by everyone and their mother when they find out I have never seen this movie before. I"m currently 19 old. There are many movies out there, I wish I could spend all my time watching them but I have other things that further my life on this planet. Like school and a part time job. I know I'm gonna like this movie.

One part I like in particular is a scene where this douche bag college student tries to humiliate Ben Affleck with his Harvard Wits. But it's Ben Affleck so no one really has to try hard. I have met so many pseudo-intellectual douches out there like this character. It frustrates me so much. I completed 4 AP classes in high school and AP classes are filled to the brim with monkeys who think they are geniuses because they can memorize some facts and recite it on cue. Anyone can study. We have taught gorillas how to do sign language. Apes don't communicate fully to the extent that we do, but they usually do one word signs to get what they want. "Banana", "water", "doll". Things like that. Now the AP kids think they are smart. Some are actually smart, some are just good memorizers. Intelligence is the ability to learn AND think for yourself. Thinking for themselves is where a lot of these kids fall short. If you could think for yourself, you wouldn't listen to what the adults in public schools would tell you. You could listen to the information. Process it. But everything else they say is just mundane. I'm probably preaching to the choir here. Long story short for this paragraph, the smart people are idiots.

Matt Damon is so baller.
He can fight, he is smart, he didn't have to try and he was given a very attractive woman's number. He calls people out on their BS. He trolls therapist. Matt Damon is good in my book.

Next up, Robin Williams! He has a beard in this movie. Beards can make almost anything cooler. 1800s mustaches and mountain man beards are prime man facial hair styles.

Manly.

This movie makes me want to do one or two things. One thing is to go up to people and say, "It's not your fault." This would really confuse strangers. Waiting on the bus, business man to the right of me is reading his kindle. He wants to read the classics, he is reading Oliver Twist. I turn to him and say "it's not your fault." He says "what?". I say, "it's not your fault." End of conversation. I know that will live with him forever. He goes home from work, his wife/husband(I don't judge him nor rule out the possibility he might be a homosexual.) asks him how was his day, he says "Some strange kid on the train said it's not your fault. I'm very creeped out." He can't sleep at night because he has to figure out what bad things have happened in his life that weren't his fault. He'll start to think they are his fault. Then the image of me turning to him and "saying it's not your fault" will show up in a flash back all over again. He'll be in such mental stress and wonder. He'll never solve the mystery. All because of one little phrase that didn't mean anything when I said it, but it meant everything to him when he heard it.

Reminds me of in middle school and early high school when I turned to someone and said, "Don't worry about it." They wanted to know what not to worry about. I in turned replied, "Don't worry about it." So it begins.

The title is called Good Will Hunting. I'm not sure this is grammatically correct. He is not good, Superman does good. Good Will Hunting sounds right. But it seems like Well Will Hunting might be correct. I am not grammar nazi nor wizard nor genius nor any other adjective to describe my point I'm making. Just for fun, it could be call Well Will Whunting. It wouldn't have won any oscars with a name like that cause no one would have taken it seriously. Nothing shouldn't be taken seriously. I shouldn't be taken seriously. This blog shouldn't be taken seriously. Ben Affleck shouldn't be taken seriously.

Thank God Ben Affleck didn't show up all the time in this movie. Matt Damon is definitely the break out star. He later becomes Jason Bourne.

I like this movie for many reasons. Robin Williams beard, it reassures me that it's good to be smart, and a great story. Robin Williams is a better serious actor then he is comic actor. Not that I didn't enjoy Flubber. It was a staple movie of my youth. But him in Good Will Hunting and World's Greatest Dad really stick out to me. He was a force behind his voice. He also has a very macho moment when he almost killed Will by strangling him. Robin Williams will choke a bitch if he has too.


Saturday, September 17, 2011

Moulin Rouge



Brief summary:
The year is 1899, and Christian, a young English writer, has come to Paris to follow the Bohemian revolution taking hold of the city's drug and prostitute infested underworld. And nowhere is the thrill of the underworld more alive than at the Moulin Rouge, a night club where the rich and poor men alike come to be entertained by the dancers, but things take a wicked turn for Christian as he starts a deadly love affair with the star courtesan of the club, Satine. But her affections are also coveted by the club's patron: the Duke. A dangerous love triangle ensues as Satine and Christian attempt to fight all odds to stay together but a force that not even love can conquer is taking its toll on Satine


From the title of the movie, it sounded French to me. Ha-zah! I was correct. Without seeing the name, I thought the movie would feature people who didn't bathe, cheese and begets and snails, and complained all the time. But it's not safe for me to make fun of the French. I once was named the Twitter jerk of the Day for making fun of an Air France flight that went "missing" over the Ocean. I thought they were lost, not dead. Excuse me for giving the French who fly planes the benefit of the doubt.

You would think this movie is for women being that is very popular among women. It's quite the opposite. This movie is for DUDES. Within the first 3 minutes of the film, I find out that Ewan McGregor stars in the movie. Obi Wan Kenobi is in this movie. DO YOU KNOW HOW COOL THAT IS?! He can hang around anywhere, have a French man stumble into his life, and train him into a Jedi Knight. The only draw back is that the French Man would turn evil and Ewan would have to train the Frenchman's son into a Jedi Knight as well to kill the father Frenchman. Maybe it's just a good idea not to have any Jedis in France to begin with.

Ewan spends the whole movie at his desk writing about the Moulin Rouge and cutting back to flashbacks. He is doing so with a wife beater on and suspenders. I've seen the trend in old timey movies or movies where people are dressed in old timey clothes where men are wearing wife beaters AND suspenders. They are half way getting undressed, the formal shirt is off. Do they really care if the pants stay up? Hell! I say a real man is someone who can walk around his house with no pants on without a care in the world. Women feel free to do the same. Being comfortable without pants will set you free.

This movie has everything you want. It has dwarfs, not the Lord of the Ring kind. Hold your sadness. Just because they aren't mining in the mountains for valuable minerals, doesn't make them any less cool. This is a normal midget type little person. The dwarf is hanging out with people who are dressed like circus folk and wear top hats. People are wearing top hats. Ewan is wearing a top hat. If you're not sold by the fact that Ewan McGregor is wearing a top hat, check your pulse. You're probably not breathing. Top hats, men with mustaches, and pretty and sexy dancing women. What more could you want?!

This movie sings songs popular throught out American pop culture in the 20th century.
For instance:
The hills are alive with the sound of music- I expected Nazis to march in the movie and search to kill for Julie Andrews and her family.
Diamonds Are a Girl's Best friend - I expect Marilyn Monroe to have to spend the whole movie pushing down her dress because it inconveniently keeps lifting up and becomes a burden.
Smells like teen spirit - I expected Kurt Cobain to walk into the shot with a shotgun and shoot himself in the head.

Most of my expectations about the film have not been fulfilled. No nazis, no kurt, and no marilyn.


But I did not expect to be blown away and turned on by Nicole Kidman so much. She would go crazy over a man speaking poetry. Just imagine how turned on she would be if I read Harry Potter aloud. I'm thinking of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. Instead of saying Harry Potter, I say my name. Instead of Ron Weasley, it's replaced with Nicole Kidman. So it's Nicole Kidman, Hermione, and I all together in the Chamber of Secrets. Magic would happen in the Chamber no doubt after the Basilisk is unleashed.

Speaking of Harry Potter, the actor who played Professor Slughorn is in this movie. I'm overjoyed and scared at the same time. One, Voldemort might show up. Two, Harry might show up as well. Since they are wizards and magic, I assume they can transcend different stories and movies. Anything is possible for a wizard...or Ewan McGregor.

I may have a hetero dude crush on Ewan. He is a ladies man no doubt. Great singer, poetic, has an accent. I'm not gay but wouldn't it be weird to find out you were gay by a movie with Ewan McGregor? Comedian Louis CK said he has never had a reason not suck a dick. It's funnier when you hear Louis said it but he mentioned he was at an awards show and saw Ewan McGregor there. He said was a such a beautiful man. Louic CK also said if he would ever give oral pleasure to any man in the world, it would be Ewan. Just dive right in there. Both C.K. and I agree that Ewan is pretty suave and swanky swag. Know this about Swanky Swag, Hilary Swank does not have it. Just cause your name is Swank, doesn't mean you get Swanky Swag by default.

I want to hire someone(I would pay them sweat shop wages because I'm on a budget) to count all the times the word "love" is mentioned. There is a scene where the star crossed lovers are on top of a building shaped like an elephant and singing love songs. The whole movie is a love story bent on reminding you it's all about love. The characters love each other. Love shall overcome. Love finds a way. Love this, love that. Love, love, love, love , love. This movie is totally hardcore on the love factor. It's like a love rollercoaster instead of a tunnel of love.

I've never actually been on a tunnel of love. No one to go with at this time in my life(Forever alone) and most carnivals I've been to don't have a tunnel of love. But they do have a lot of scary carnies. That's not the same at all. A arrow from cupid is not the same as a switchblade from a carnival employee.

If you're not in love or in a relationship like Nicole and Ewan, Moulin Rouge will stick it in your face how alone and single you are. It's both a brilliant and sad at the same time. I found myself wishing I had a girlfriend to watch this with and to make out in my basement during the movie. This is the proper way to watch Moulin Rouge. Not alone, never alone. Only together alone.

Rango



Movie Premise:
The story follows the comical, transformative journey of Rango (Depp), a sheltered chameleon living as an ordinary family pet, while facing a major identity crisis. After all, how high can you aim when your whole purpose in life is to blend in? When Rango accidentally winds up in the gritty, gun-slinging town of Dirt -- a lawless outpost populated by the desert's most wily and whimsical creatures -- the less-than-courageous lizard suddenly finds he stands out. Welcomed as the last hope the town has been waiting for, new Sheriff Rango is forced to play his new role to the hilt...until, in a blaze of action-packed situations and encounters with outrageous characters, Rango starts to become the hero he once only pretended to be.

At one point in the movie, there is an angry mob outside of the sheriff's house/jailhouse/wherever sheriff's in the old west reside. I've always wanted to be a part of an angry mob. I imagine an angry mob in England would just turn out to be a crowd of people who refuse to use manners, like say please and thank you. But I want to be a part of an angry mob where people didn't know what they were angry about. "I just bought bananas fresh and green yesterday and now they are brown! I'm very angry!". And the like, they are like Christmas Carolers who show up to your door step to shout at you why they are angry. Instead of sleigh bells to help boost the christmas cheer, the angry mobbers have pitchforks, torches, and blind fury.

One of the main conflicts in Rango is the town Rango wanders into and becomes a part of is THERE IS NO WATER. Living in America and having more than I need, I cannot relate. We have so much in America, we refuse to bathe. It's not because we have no water that some of us don't bathe, it's because of sheer laziness. That is freedom right there. Not really, but that's what I tell myself. Whenever a character in a story is starving or dying of thirst, I take the liberty to get up and eat or drink something during. Kind of like those people who eat junk food while watching the Biggest Loser. My friend gave me an idea while I read this book(The Hunger Games) where the main character is dying of dehydration in a battle of survival and to the death with other contestants in the woods. The idea was to stop reading the book, get up, go to the faucet in the bathroom, turn it on, STARE AT THE WATER FOR 30 SECONDS, NOT drink it, turn it off, and go back to reading the book where the character is DYING because of lack of water. Just cause I can.

Animals can talk in this movie and have human characteristics. That is fine. But WHY are the owls who serve as a mariachi band and narrators MEXICAN! You couldn't find another other animal to be more of a random choice to characters a member of an ethnicity than owls? It would have been racist to choose a chihuahua to be the mexican characters in the movie but it's just plain bonkers to choose owls. A raven is the Indian/Native American(First Nations to you Canadians). Why we are at it, why not have a character that is from Asia be a bear! No....not a panda bear. Make it a koala bear. Yeah, in the desert. Building a railroad. Doesn't make sense does it? Good. Now you get my confusion about why the mexican characters are owls.

The film is a great western. We don't get too many westerns now a days. True Grit and Rango are the only westerns that have come to my attention in a while. The film has some pretty BA(when I say BA, I mean badass. Makes the censoring counterproductive don't you think) moments. Clint Eastwood makes an appearance. Not only is motherfucking Clint Eastwood in the movie, he can talk to animals. He had a conversation with Rango. Rango is a lizard. All the animals I have ever tried to talk to have never talked back. You start talking to the animals as a kid, you stop when you're an adult because they never talk back. Even crazy pet people who talk to their pets, there pets never talk back. NOT FOR CLINT EASTWOOD! When you're the Man With No Name, you can do anything.

When watching this movie, you feel like you're on acid in a desert and the whole desert came to life. I wouldn't recommend this movie to people on acid. Rango is too dangerous for drug users. But it is safe enough for children. IRONIC. AND it's rated PG!

An evil snake in this movie has a mustache. Mustaches can make anything cool. Look at Gene Shalit.

Pretty cool, right? The mustache is making me like the unlikable character of Jake the Snake.

All in all, this movie is pretty swag.

New Direction of this Blog

I've entertained the idea of blogging my thoughts about movies I see. Maybe putting down my thoughts about movies will help encourage me to watch more movies. I do need to watch more movies. These won't be movie reviews nor criticisms. Just ramblings of the mind. Enjoy.