Friday, October 17, 2008

Useless Mascots

So I got home from school and on my counter i find a bag of "Cheeze Balls". It is a generic rip off of Cheetos obviously. Is it me or does Cheeze Balls sound like a very dirty word? So I'm eating this tasty cheesy treat when something on the bag caught my eye. There is a happy aligator on the bag.
This irritated me. What the eff does a happy smiley gator have to do with Cheese?! I doubt by looking at the bag and seeing the aligator, seeing the happy go lucky aligator on it would motivate them to purchase the treats. I don't think a real aligator has ever tasted cheese before. Unless some rednecks brought grilled cheese sandwiches or some cheetos to the bouyou(Swamp in the deep south) and it fell in the water, and while taking a nice boat ride, an businessman saw gators eating cheese and thought this would be a good idea to market. Maybe this is how the "Cheeze Balls" were invented. Buy an aligator is a redicoulous mascot.

Which leads me to the idea of other retarded-like mascots we have. Like how a tiger is trying to give me Frosted Flakes. Why would a dangerous talking tiger who would maul your face off actually allow me to want to eat corn flakes? Plus, when I was growing up, Frosted Flakes' mascot was a rooster which clearly means Tony the Tiger can't be trusted. He ate a rooster. He also adds emphasis on saying Frosted Flakes are GGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEATTTTT! did he put some kind of "foreign" substance in the cereal to make it addicting?

Other strange mascots are Cap'n Crunch. For one, this guy dresses like Liberace and clearly can't spell his name correctly. What also intrigues me is that The Rabbit in the Trix is apparently too stupid to realize he can buy Trix instead of stealing from children. Actually alot of cereal ads involve theft. This one of the reasons I don't eat cereal. They don't taste good and give children a bad message with the senseless mascots.

So the moral of the story is.....................................................................I don't think there is no moral.
Except don't eat Cheeze Balls. After 15 minutes, you get a bad cheesy taste in your mouth.